The Wintry Shower, predicted for over a fortnight, has passed over my head. Not worth writing about to be honest, since the flurry of snow has already melted away…and in just three sentences. Even so this un-noteworthy ‘weather event’ has proven one thing to me; winter has missed its window to be welcome. It can ‘do one’.
Snow, for example, would have been fantastic between 9 pm on Christmas Eve and 6 pm on Boxing Day, to then magically disappear without leaving a trace. No grit-riddled sludge or icy footpaths. That’s how winter is supposed to behave, not this.
Not days that are ‘cold for the sake of it’, as every tiny draught combines to form a mini hurricane, sent to destroy us. Not days that are ‘just miserable enough’ to look and feel like evening, when I haven’t had lunch yet. Not now when I should be on a health-kick, rising early for the gym and liquidising every green and edible thing in sight.
Rule: It should only be winter in the form of full-on snow, and when I don’t have to go anywhere, can play outside, curl up on the sofa and eat pie. End of.
‘Outside’ at all other times should remain a perfect place. Where the warm breeze and rays of sunlight caress your face….and there are rainbows and fluffy rabbits, and the trees walk around if they get angry. I don’t care how outdoorsy you are though, it is not nice to be cold. It is not nice to be cold and wet. It is not nice to be a tired, cold, wet, fleshy pulp; battered by freezing wind, trying to free my wheel nut and wondering how bad it would really be for me to ruin the rims and just get home.
Yup, walls, ceilings and desks are just fine with me!
Unfortunately we do have to go outside in rubbish weather, and struggle to shake the cold out of our bones when we get back in. This is often made worse by the lack a perfect scarf / bowl combination for drinking Tomato soup, so I could imagine I’m in the advert and make everything feel alright (never done that, just sayin’ ).
So the best we can do is Tweet and moan and wrap up warm. It is important to try especially hard not to get distracted while driving, by the fact that falling snow looks remarkably like the beginning of Star Wars. Just look after ourselves and one another, carefully side-stepping the urge to say ‘and each other’ which could accidentally invoke memories of Jerry Springer, who has nothing to do with this post.
Be patient and prepared, take care and get through.